The Disappearance of Rituals

I just finished two books by Byung-Chul Han: The Agony of Eros and The Disappearance of Rituals. The second book really touched me. The Disappearance of Rituals explores how modern society has lost crucial symbolic practices that once connected us. Han argues that rituals create a shared symbolic order that transcends individual experience. Without these rituals, we become trapped in what he calls the “hell of the same” - endless narcissistic self-reflection without meaningful connection to others.

Han connects this loss to our digital culture and neoliberal capitalism. Our obsession with authenticity and transparency actually destroys the symbolic distance necessary for true connection. For example, he discusses how social media reduces communication to mere information exchange rather than meaningful ritual. The “like” button replaces deeper forms of acknowledgment.

What I found eye-opening was Han’s defense of formality. Unlike many modern thinkers who see social conventions as artificial barriers to authenticity, Han views them as essential bridges between people. Politeness, manners, and formal address create the necessary distance that makes true connection possible. When everything is casual and immediate, we paradoxically become more isolated in our own experiences.

The Agony of Eros complements these ideas by examining how love and desire are disappearing in our achievement-oriented society. Han explains that true desire requires otherness - something beyond ourselves that we cannot fully possess. Today’s culture eliminates this otherness through excessive consumption and self-optimization. We reduce potential lovers to consumer products that can be evaluated, selected, and discarded based on how they serve our needs.

Both books diagnose our current cultural malaise with remarkable clarity. Han identifies how the relentless pursuit of individual authenticity has led to a society where we’re simultaneously overexposed to others yet profoundly disconnected from them. What makes his analysis powerful is how he ties seemingly unrelated phenomena - from smartphone addiction to casual dating - back to fundamental philosophical shifts in how we relate to each other. The only thing missing is a clear roadmap for recovery. Han brilliantly describes our condition but leaves us to imagine how we might rebuild meaningful ritual in modern life.

If you want to read some of the best parts from his books, I’ve saved them here: https://www.are.na/xvburak/txt-excerpts