For some, friendship is enduring and rhythmic; for others, it’s a sporadic intimacy of resuming conversations that were left years prior. There are people we only talk to about serious things, others who only make sense to us in the merriment of drunken nights. Some friends seem to complete us; others complicate us.

difficultly asking for help from “running on empty” by jonice webb

“There’s another aspect of asking for help that’s difficult for the emotionally neglected to deal with. If it’s hard for you to say no, chances are it’s hard for you to ask for help as well. Assertiveness works both ways. Emotionally neglected people often live their lives trapped in a Catch-22. Since you feel that you must say yes when someone asks you for a favor or help, or even extends a social invitation, you naturally assume that others feel the same way. Since you don’t want to put others in that bind, you don’t feel comfortable asking them for a favor or help. In a world where, in your head, nobody can say no to anyone, you are going to lose. These ways of thinking make you available to help others but unable to ask others for help when you need it. Can you see that this is a no-win system for you?

To free yourself from this difficult bind, all you have to do is accept that other people don’t feel guilty or uncomfortable saying no. Other people have an intrinsic understanding of this rule of assertiveness. The huge majority of people have little angst about asking for help and little angst about saying no. As soon as you can join them, a new world will open up for you.”

All I needed was to read more, own less, and keep company with the sun.