my palms have a memory of their own

i want to be alone. i don’t want to be lonely. even when i feel nothing, i feel it completely. i second-guess every decision i make and every thought i have. i’m afraid to ask for help sometimes. i’m afraid to be judged or called a freak. i need constant reassurance and it’s embarrassing. i don’t want to be this way anymore, sorry…

i’m telling the browser that i’m a human, though i’m not sure that i still am

I’ve been thinking about the border between friend love and romantic love for a long time… and maybe it’s not even a border, maybe it’s more like unknown territory… I think we lack a vocabulary to describe all the subtle nuances and forms that relationships can take…

anyway, I find it a shame that friendship is often on the sidelines, e.g. phrases like “we are just friends” or “friendship with benefits” — as if friendship alone isn’t enough, isn’t a benefit on its own…

argumentation will achieve nothing; we must create symbols, make myths, and imagine miracles

select individuals who could bring a small part of the divine into the mundane.

when you base your entire worth on how useful you are to others, it’s fuckin hard to find out that everyone else can function just as well without you. nobody misses you. nothing can stop working because you’re not there. you’re just a fuckin npc. just a guy walking by.

i’m thinking of ending things

maybe one day

we will only remember the good things

we will only remember the good things because

much worse things will come

no resolution nor conclusion

just in hope for climax

ever-rising complication