I felt fundamentally more secure in my ability to navigate difficult situations after my first psychotic break down at 19

There’s a degree of gamification that comes in every interaction after that which says “none of this actually matters when you can survive at the bottom”

i like perfumes… but of all the scents, i think, the smell of your sweaty skin after morning yoga is one of my favorites

Sometimes I feel like I’m the worst kind of person.

There are those aggressive business people who accept “the game” and use its rules to benefit from it, and there are people who choose the opposite end — refusing to accept “the game” and sacrificing comfort to preserve integrity.

And then there are “the middle ones” like me — we keep the system running for just enough money so we can continue, but not enough to ever escape it.

To make things worse — I’m aware of it, yet I still continue.

The worst kind.

thinking about hands lately
hands in general
but mainly yours

what to do with a desire that has nowhere to go? desire is ecstasy only when reciprocated. otherwise, it’s suffering.

similarly, when someone desires you but you do not desire them, that is also suffering.

if it’s mutual, the desire multiplies and grows exponentially. if it’s not, suffering multiplies and grows exponentially.

you put into your mouth things I held in my hands. cooking is sooo intimate.

Brie Larson singing ‘Black Sheep’ by Metric in ‘Scott Pilgrim vs. the World’ is constantly on my mind. Especially the part where she says ‘shape-shift and trick’ makes my heart melt…

nekritizuji víru ale církev

I have moments when I have a feeling of complete mental clarity, and then there are moments when I say things that I have no idea where they come from. wtf is this?

i’m a flower
touch is my water
water me daily,
or I will wither away