well-intentioned, overly imaginative, unintentionally manipulative low-grade narcissist

you’re triggered not because ‘they’re toxic’, but because they touched a wound you pretend does not exist

do not outsource your heart and soul

Sometimes I wonder what kind of sex people are having… especially when they say stuff like “they did this or that just for the sex” or “the relationship is just about sex” — as if it was a lesser reason. What I mean is that if you can find a person with whom you click this way, with whom sex feels like you would go to hell and back for, then everything really is about sex. But also, sex IS everything.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

it still feels like a fever dream. i wonder if i’ll ever look back at these memories with pure happiness, without the bitter reminder that this reality is now gone forever. things rarely go according to our plans. maybe planning less would be better, but without plans, i tend to make dramatic changes that lead me to difficult situations that i can’t easily undo. i’m scared of being alone, but i’m even more scared of spending my life wearing a mask just to avoid loneliness. looking back, i realise i always invested more energy in romantic relationships than friendships because romantic partners promised to stay forever - though none of them actually did. i think my fear of what the future might bring is stopping me from truly living in the present moment.

innumerable little cowardices and laziness

slipped on my wet kitchen floor and literally missed cracking my head on the counter by like 2 cm. realized if I’d hit it just slightly differently, I could’ve been a goner. lol. with my lifestyle of going no contact for weeks, no one would probably notice. haha.

try softer

In the silence between heartbeats
I hear the universe breathe

Am I the dreamer or the dream?

Your character is measured by the gap between how you speak of others in their absence versus in their presence — the larger the gap, the lesser the character.