01 dec, 2023

yesterday, a guy at the pub shared the story of his girlfriend's home birth with me. i was absolutely hooked by his passion and pride in his eyes, yet also by his humbleness by the awareness that we men will never fully comprehend what it means to bring a person into the world and experience the unique bond a mother has with her child.

do i want children? i feel there are conflicting views within me, so i'll have to explore them more in another text.

i visited a tea gathering – initially just to pick up a friend, but ended up staying for a couple of cups. gosh, how i can't stand self-centered noisy people. it seems to me that this guy formed a circle just to talk about himself. i dislike noisy people, not when someone speaks loudly, but when someone feels the need to fill every space with themselves at any cost. it pleased me that i could recognize that feeling within me and not conform to it.

on wednesday, i had therapy. i'm coming to realize that my intuition is really good. what i lack is the self-confidence to listen to it and navigate without "hard data" or "evidence."

i'm incredibly grateful for the people i have around me, whether they are friends i've recently met or those who have been with me through various phases of life. even if we don't see each other much now, i love them no less.

one can optimize their life as much as possible, but i somehow feel that if it's not shared with others, it doesn't bring as much joy as it could. maybe one can convince themselves to be perfectly fine solely in their mind, but why?

i understand, relationships are occasionally confusing, sometimes painful, but as far as i know, it's always worth it.

take care 🌱

(and if you are reading this, feel free to idk, say hi in the comments or write what you’re grateful for. or maybe just write it for yourself) 🍃