29 mar, 2023

I'm slowly getting back up from the bottom of the spiral. i was bit mote stable today, even though i’ve cried on several occasions. mainly while watching this move called Celest and Jesse forever (big mistake) ..BUT i managed to write and send an intro message to a therapist and although I still have doubts about doing it I want to at least try..

It's hard to put together the assignments. What's bothering me or what do I want to address? cuz on the one hand I feel like I'm broken on several different levels don’t even know where to begin, but on the other hand I feel like I was doing pretty fine before all this shit had started (it's been half a year already, crazy)... and maybe it is just my head remembering it differently and…ugh..well let’s wait and see.

Tomorrow I'll try to get back to my routine and get myself back in order, back in shape. I've got a few days left here, so I want to leave on a good note.

I miss living in Brno, but again I’m not entirely sure if it isn’t just another illusion. if I won't miss it even more when I actually get back.

well I mustn't give in to these thoughts.
I must endure.